In search of...मायसेल्फ

It is really rare to have a Sunday  as the first day on job, isn't it? As I said earlier,  I was selected as a Freelance Tour Leader  by Go Travellism. My first event was Waterfall Rappelling  at Dhodani Waterfall near Panvel. I woke up at 4 AM and made lunch to carry. My dear husband dropped me at the train station early morning. During the train travel, I was preparing my introduction as a leader to the fellow travelers. Although I had done it a thousand times in past, being a leader was completely new. I had to make a good first impression. Standing on Panvel station,  waiting for everyone to come,  I had butterflies in my stomach. Honestly, they weren't really butterflies,  but some horrid creatures making stupid noises. Oh Yes, I was hungry too! And then, the first two travelers reached .. The guy was trying to call me to ask where I was and  the girl with him pointed towards me saying she must be Samiksha! Oh boy,...

I have to stop overthinking, right? The List of Possibilities is Impossible to finish ! Because every time I think of an option,  I Doubt it... The Writing option is checked.. So is the Travelling option.. Let's move on to the next. What am I good at? I am good at Doodling, so I was told by many. How about I start Doodling regularly and then convert those doodles into vector forms  and upload them on paying websites. I shall start that right away I guess. People need fresh designs everyday, don't they? For T shirts,  for Decorating,  for Printing  on Tattoos,  on Mobile Cases,  on Bags,  on Door Panels,  for Engraving..  huh, look at that ! I am good at finding a Scope ! Wait, can that be an option?

Go Travellism hired me as a freelance tour leader... I had applied for a weekend job as a trek leader in my beloved travel company just for a little extra income as the previous job was not really paying all the bills. While I was there for the training session they offered me a Full Time Tour Leader job given that I am willing to sacrifice 92 holidays a year.  It was a good offer and I would have instantly jumped on it if I was not married.  So currently I will be a freelance tour leader until I figure out what to do next. That's one option. Although, it got me thinking whether I really have a chance of total career change.  How about writing all the options down?  Asking my self questions about my interests  and if I am willing to take that interest to next level  and earn from it?  Can I be consistent with it?  Can I do that every single day of my life? Then comes the monstrous question - Do I have a shot? ...

I wake up in the morning, do all the chores,  make my lunch and go to my Mother's place to work on a laptop. I have to get out of my own house to work on a laptop;  because otherwise I either sleep or eat.  Yep, that was my first week after resigning. 6th June,2018 was the date when I resigned from a ridiculously long job as an associate from an art studio.  A studio which I brought up with my own hands along with myself.  A studio where I worked  throughout my college and paid for my education.  A studio I dreamed to flourish throughout India. My job was all about Wall Paintings and Relief Murals. A job which I loved going to... a job which never felt like a job... a job where I was a senior in many ways...  Through this job did I see the world, but not the one everyone around me was walking in. I met all kinds of people, but not the ones my classmates were facing. I handled a lot of bad patches of the business; yet the fear of...